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Goodbye my friend
16 April 2005
The weekend past, I was a wreck, this week was worse. I could do nothing but roam the neighbourhood looking for the pickle, stand at my front door whistling.
On Monday morning I made sure there was fresh bickies in the garden just in case he drops by. I got to work and called the RSPCA and vets again, but nothing. During the course of the day I created over 200 flyers so i can put them in my neighbours mailboxes.
Just before I was leaving work I received a call on my mobile, it was my neighbour. She found Mr. Pickles. I broke down, I dont think she could hear my words beneath my attempts to not cry but I think she understood we were coming to get my baby. I called Pob, he was home. Again my words were muffled by the sobs all he heard from me was our neighbours name and he understood.
Pob found Mr. Pickles behind the only flowering bush next to my neighbours fence. He looked like he was sleeping. His paw was over his nose just like normal. Pob thinks he might have had a heart attack or might have been hit by a car and knew it was time and went to hide.
A few weeks ago I had a talk with Mr. Pickles, I told him even tho it was still years to go, when the time came he shouldnt run off and hide, he should just stay with me and I'll take care of him. He looked at me then and then put his head on my lap. I thought this meant we both agreed. I guess he didnt.
I dont know how I managed to drive home that night. He was just under 7 years old. He's my baby.
Ive been crying for days, my chest hurts. I bought him a new bowl on Thursday, he never saw it. I tried to put his left over food in a bag to take to my friends house so Jingle can have it. I cant quite do it yet, I took it out of the bag and back into the pantry where it belonged.
I didnt know you could love a 4 legged friend so much, I didnt think it would hurt this much. What I wouldn't do for just one more purr, one more nose to nose kisses, one more head butt, one more smooch, one more pat, just one more cuddle, just one more paw mark on my newly painted canvas.
We're having him cremated. The lady from the pet cremation place came to pick him up last Tuesday, again I broke down after she left. Mr. Pickles is ok now, I know that. He's in heaven and Papa will now be looking after him for me. I miss you my Pickle.
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